Day 146 Has seen an explosion of colour on a glorious run that led to poetry and some God sent encouragement
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Miles Covered under my own steam in my drive to improve my physical fitness and so strengthen my immune system to take the fight to the tumour.
8.1 Miles
Morning Walk Doune Castle Long Loop 1.7 Miles
Morning Prayer & Organ practice St Modocs Church & Back 1 Mile
Lunch Time Run 5.4 Miles via Milton of Cambus with a climb of 409 feet done in 57 Mins 10 Secs. That meant that I was running at 10 Min and 35 Seconds per Mile. Significantly slower than my run on Wednesday, but considering I had to navigate around this new route I had planned off a map accounting for some loss of speed, I was really pleased with the way I physically managed the run. But as I ran around this route the delightful children’s rhyme about ‘Going on a Bear Hunt’ by Michael Rosen came to mind and, as it was one of James’ favourites as a boy, I thought that I would tell the story of the run in a sort of rhyme based on his wonderful book.I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.Uh-Uh!
A dusty hilly track!
I mustn’t avoid the hill.
I can’t go around it.
I can’t go under it.
Oh YES I have to go up it!!
Tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp
Breathing In for Two out for Two, In for Two out for Two
Step short!
Punch up the hill!
Drive hard and you won’t get ill!!I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.Uh-Uh!
A forest!
A big dark forest.
I can’t go over it.
I can’t go under it.
Oh no!
I’ve got to go through it!
Stumble trip! Stumble trip! Stumble trip!
Graham Desmonts whom I met on the train I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.Uh-Uh!
Another hilly track!
I mustn’t avoid the hill.
I can’t go around it.
I can’t go under it.
Oh YES I have to go up it!!
Tramp, tramp, tramp, tramp
Breathing In for Two out for Two, In for Two out for Two
Step short!
Punch up the hill!
Drive hard!!I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.Wow! A secret Garden,
Bursting with colour,
Rhododendrons and carpets of bluebells,
I’m not sure that I should be here!
Was that a noise behind me?
Quick before someone sees me!
Over a style and through a gate,
Tiptoe, tiptoe, tiptoe, tiptoe
Over a stone bridge and onto a track.I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.That noise might be a troll from under the bridge!
Quick along the track
Pant, pant, pant, pant
and through another gate
I’ve made it onto another track running downhill,
Lengthen the stride
And enjoy the ride.I’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.Uh-Uh!
A wee burn in a deep gully
I can’t go over it the bridge has long gone,
I can’t go under it but just have to get on.
Oh no!
I’ve got to go through it and the quagmire either side,
Squelch squerch, Splash splosh, squelch squerchI’m going on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.I’ve made it to the old railway line.
The weather has turned nice and fine.
No defined track but easy going.
In the field beside was a tractor mowing.
A steady pace
To finish the raceI’m been on a healing run,
The tumour’s quite a big one,
But I’m not scared.
What a beautiful day,
for beating the beast.No seizure,
Not even a wobble.
I didn’t get lost,
Among the moss,
I made it all work inside the head.
I beat the beast and am ready for bed!! -
Bags of Rubbish Collected as part of my ongoing drive to keep improving my balance to an optimum level.
2 Bags
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Time in Prayer and Organ Practice. Prayer is the greatest power on earth and forms a significant part of my day In which I thank God for bringing me out of the shadow of night and into the light of a new day that I can spend in service before praying for healing, for guidance on the challenge and most importantly the healing and needs of others. I also take time at this point to read the daily readings as a source of wisdom while practicing the organ tunes I have learnt and am learning as part of my morning and evening prayer routine to force the cognitive rewiring of my brain.
45 Mins of Prayer
10 Mins of Organ Practice -
Food is a huge part of my challenge to beat the beast and has also generated a significant amount of interest so I will mention in bullet points any changes to what was eaten. Food eaten daily will consist of the following:
- Breakfast will almost always be an oat based cereal mix served with a banana, two dozen or so blueberries and a tablespoon of flaxseed served with coconut milk followed by a piece of wholemeal seeded toast with butter and Marmalade and then an apple and a glass of pure orange juice. Any changes for the day will be noted here.
- Lunch will almost always be either a tuna mayonnaise sandwich with spinach, rocket and watercress salad or a poached egg on toast with spinach, rocket and watercress salad followed by a veggie pick and mix of 50g of tenderstem broccoli, 10g of carrots, 12 red grapes and 4 cherry tomatoes. Any changes for the day will be noted here.
- 8 to 10 Brazil Nuts will also be consumed daily by taking 2 brazil nuts each time I return home from a walk or Physical Training or the Church. A Cup of Horlicks will be drunk each evening along with a port glass of red wine and 3 squares of 85% Dark Chocolate.
- Tea will almost always be a home cooked meal cooked from raw ingredients followed by a tangerine. Tonight was tagliatelle of cabbage with lots of sweetheart cabbage, fresh parsley, chives, garlic, cream cheese, grated lemon rind and parmesan.
Verdict? Delicious and jolly good for me!!
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Achievements. What have I actually managed to achieve through the day beyond cooking, eating, praying, practising and Physical Training.
- Completed the relevant paperwork to join the Armed Forces Pension Society needed to secure the excellent travel insurance.
- Booked a time for the SSE Engineer to come and fit the new meters to get me on the cheaper system.
- Discovered that I had to have a Social Worker as part of my admissions process to the Erskine Nursing Home should I need it. Contacted the Stirling Council Social Services Department. Got over the shock of having to have a social worker and then a social worker called me back to start the process of bringing me on to their books. She was delightful and for once spoke very slowly and very clearly. But too slowly and too clearly. I quickly realised that she was speaking to me as if I had already started to lose my cognitive function and was full of empathy and compassion but I wasn’t ready for this yet. I was going to beat the beast but the conversation ended with me feeling very sad about the increasing depth of bureaucracy. It would appear that the greater the level of loss of cognitive function the greater the depth of incredibly complicated and extended processes there seem to be just to make something happen. I also discovered that the cost of this care was twice as much per week as I was bringing in with my pension and war disablement pension. I had thankfully secured the children’s investment that I had saved on retirement in the flat but it looks increasingly as if this is at risk due to the cost of nursing care should I require it. The social work department might be able to assist but frankly I feel abandoned. I am having to fight this vicious disease as a direct result of a blunt force trauma sustained 12 to 15 years ago during my military service. But I have not lost a limb, I do not have PTSD, I have in fact in many ways been extremely blessed in my career but right now could do with some help. While my disease is not nearly as obvious as a missing limb or a mental illness or a loss of a sense such as hearing or sight my disease is in fact robbing me of life itself while challenging my mobility and cognitive function and the maintenance of my mental health and senses. It was caused by an unspecified blunt force trauma but caused by service it was so please don’t let it be invisible. As things currently stand, if I do not manage to beat this beast, the people who are going to suffer most are my children as not only will I not be there to provide the sort of love and support that young adults so dearly need from a Father as they grow and mature, but it will also guarantee that every last penny, so carefully saved and invested for the children’s future, will be lost to pay for my nursing care a good twenty years earlier than one might have ever reasonably expected. What ever happened to the government’s covenant to support those that stood up to defend their nation’s and other vulnerable people’s interests, and the families affected by the consequences of such an action. At the moment, if the injury is visible, the injured person will be very publicly and rightly looked after as well as they possibly could be. But if nobody can see it. If it is not going to embarrass the government then the MoD’s not interested in it. Perhaps I have got this wrong but I am just gutted that such careful financial planning for the future will be for naught should I fail to beat the beast caused while in service. I am so sorry for sounding angry but that is perhaps because I am hugely disappointed.
- How was I feeling? Apart from feeling a little sad after talking to social services I have been feeling really good all day. Hoorah!!
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Memorable God Filled Moments. I was going to break this category down into two parts but then I realised that a memorable moment has undoubtedly got God’s hand at work within it so the two go together and remain together as the point at which I tell the story at the end of the post.
- This morning I caught sight of a most amazing email from a young lady who was yesterday helping me to get my direct debit to the Factors squared away. I had, as she seemed so lovely on the phone, felt a need to introduce Rebekah to the challenge. It turns out that her sister suffers from Epilepsy as well so they will be looking at the challenge a little more closely. I very much hope that they do come and find me, enjoy the journey and perhaps find a little hope, inspiration and encouragement on the way.
- This afternoon, as I boarded a train for Edinburgh to go and visit my Grandparents’ grave I found that there were only 3 seats available in the entire carriage. All 3 seats were on a table around a gentleman sat on his own. So I asked if I could join him and sat with him. He asked, rather out of context of anything else that was going on as I got my computer out to start writing this post, ‘So What Do you Do?!!’ I had no option but to introduce him immediately to the challenge. I gave him a flyer. We had an hour and so we talked and talked and talked about the wonders of the journey I am on and similar shared experiences that he has had. As we approached Edinburgh I went to say my farewells and then I suddenly realised why I was to sit next to this gentleman. Again out of context. Almost as if he was meant to say it earlier but had forgotten until something poked him to remind him he suddenly said ‘Oh by the way I have to tell you that my Stepfather had a Brain Tumour when he was just 8 years old. He is now 46 and still going strong!!’ And then Graham added ‘Just remember that anything’s possible if you put your mind to it. Throw your energy into it and there’s no limits!’ I was astounded by the confidence in such statements of a 23 year old while chatting to a complete stranger on the train. I felt like I was being encouraged and counselled by a wise old gentleman. I am almost convinced, the more I think about it, that this was once again a very clear message sent from God to encourage me on.
Yours aye
Archie