The last two days have been brought together as Day 90 and have seen a Birthday Celebrated, family reunited after great distances travelled, 11 miles walked, many people met and a steeling of a determination to Beat the Beast.
Boxing Day was my birthday and saw a fabulous birthday lunch with my Aunt Tedda and Uncle David and a growing brood of cousins, many of whom are living in South Africa, having flown over for Christmas with the family and rented a cottage near Chippenham so at only 1.5 hours drive away we simply had to go and see them. Wild horses wouldn’t have kept me away. Sadly Camilla and her family could not be there nor Benji and his family and I send them all my love and very very best hopes and wishes for the coming year but cousins Justin and Harry and Snuggy were there with their partners Sakhele ?? and Muff and the wonderful children Soso, Tabatha, Sam, Otto, Zebedee and Alunamda who at 5 months gave me the most delightful cuddle. The children were playing Dobble and let me join in which gave me great opportunity to get to know them better and for them to get to know me. Then lunch was joined and gave great opportunity to catch up on each other’s news. Lunch finished it was then time for birthday cake. The traditional cake for my birthday, chocolate biscuit with smarties on top, My favourite!! A rousing chorus of happy birthday and some help from my young cousins to blow out the candles and the inevitable question. How does it feel to be 43? I used to answer ‘no different’. Because having a birthday at the end of the year meant that when trying to remember my age through the rest of the year and working it out by taking 1972 from the year, in this case, 2015 I was therefore already 43 so in my mind not got any older!!
Now however the answer is awesome!! Why? The answer comes in three phases of life. Firstly when younger I was always wanting to get another year older for the later bed time and increased pocket money and as I got even older the increased responsibility, to be able to drive, to be able to have a pint in the pub (legally!), to be able to vote. I was wanting to fast forward my adolescence. Secondly however, as I hit middle age and sensed the marching of the years ever forwards towards old age I wanted to try and slow down the steady march towards old age. To stay in the prime of age in which I felt I had a good balance of physical and mental vitality and life experience to be able to make the most of any opportunity when it came around so really didn’t want to get any older. But now I am very firmly of the view that every birthday I reach is a gift from God and a victory against the Beast so to be savoured and enjoyed.
I had a fabulous birthday so thank you very much indeed Aunt Tedda for bringing us all together again.
Today has seen 11 miles walked through Cleeve Common starting and finishing at Winchcombe and included the highest point of the Cotswolds. More importantly it brought me lots and lots of wonderful people.
My Stepfather David and Brother-in-Law Rob and I came up with the idea of the walk yesterday as I started to feel a little lethargic after a day of socialising rather than exercising. I even caught myself shuffling into a stride, almost as if I had a bad back, as I raised myself out of the chair to go and get something on several occasions and made a very conscious decision that I mustn’t let myself get old. Not now. Brain Surgery followed by 30 doses of radiotherapy followed by 12 months of chemotherapy ages one considerably no matter what. In fact I felt at times as if I had aged 20 years in 18 months but unusually I do also think that one can turn the clock back and fight back for those years lost. So rather than sitting there accepting the tiredness, the disrupted sleep patterns, the aching joints, the weakening bone structure, the failing memory, the failing mental dexterity, the failing hearing, the sore feet, the confusion caused by too much happening at once, the piles, the thinning skin and the never ending list of things that start to wrong I can find ways to fight back and get those 20 years back. That is what the challenge represents and is indeed doing but I must be very aware of the subtle changes that slip in unnoticed until they become habit as I move around the house. The shuffling out of chairs, the stammering and spluttering over my words when trying to start to say something, the loosing of words and threads of conversation that all make me feel older and want to pack it all in with increasing tiredness and frustration. So I must make a conscious effort to rise from my chair in a solid and balanced movement, to think through what I want to say and how I want to say it so that it flows like prose from a poet rather than laboured English from a student struggling in a foreign language, to keep working the memory and finding ways to lock away elements to be remembered in the short term, to force the body back into a routine of a sleep pattern, to stop the rot and not allow myself to deteriorate in to somebody I struggle to recognise or somebody who no longer wishes to engage with life. I must, using the challenge, remind myself of how much I can do and how much I have to offer. Remind myself that it is worth fighting; so on the evening of my birthday I confirmed a plan that had been brewing that I would like to do a 10 mile walk. Rob and David volunteered to come and so today started.
It was a good walk on a 10.5 mile circular route through beautiful countryside despite the heavy mist and rain carried in on the breeze. We made a slight ½ mile detour at the start as we orientated ourselves to the start of the route but otherwise made good head way. Then something happened that made me reflect further on the many ages of man and his progression through the various phases of life and that is one’s relationship with one’s parents. David slipped badly on a piece of saturated grass and landed on his shoulder. It was nobody’s fault and he escaped serious injury but did make me worry about his safety on the walk. I asked that he take my walking poles to provide some stability for him as he negotiated the slippery and undulating terrain. He refused and slipped again. This time I, after a little discussion insisted that he take the poles and gave him instruction on how to use them correctly. Then I giggled. ‘What?’ asked David. ‘It is like a prophecy coming true’ I replied ‘I remember you telling me one day that I would be telling you what to do. Well here we are.’ David replied ‘Just as I had told you previously, ‘Up to the age of 14 I will be telling you. Between 14 and 20 we will discuss it. From thereon – you’ll tell me!’ ‘I am just worrying about your welfare because I really do not want to be carrying you home.’ I replied. And on we walked. As we did so Rob commented on the lack of people. We hadn’t seen anyone all morning. It hadn’t dawned on me as I was worrying about David but then did hope that we would meet some and that they might be receptive to the challenge or even in need of it. From then on there was an almost unstoppable flow of wonderful people coming across us with smiles on their faces and a clear desire to enquire after us. I found myself handing out a flyer with a recommendation to enjoy a glass of wine with a video to a young David Needham only to discover that both his grandparents succumbed to cancer. I am so very sorry for your loss David but thank you for coming to join me on the journey. I very much hope you get much from it. I found myself stopping two ladies who had long passed us but whom I could not get out of my mind. I turned and caught hem up to ask them to enjoy a glass of wine and watch a video. Another flyer taken and I very much hope that they do come and find me and join the journey. Then we bumped into the delightful family of Andrew, Sara, Jack and Amelia who also took the flyer to enjoy a video with a mug of tea. Then we met the delightful Harry Jackson and Chellsie Muirhead and so the amazing afternoon continued with more and more wonderful people. I found myself wondering why it was that with so many meetings in which I have stopped someone on a muddy hillside, or snowy mountainside, or flooded cycle track, or just struck up conversation on a bus or a train, that I have never been told no thank you. Or told to go away. I have only once been refused a picture but that is it. The answer I am thinking is that I follow my instinct. I am listening to myself and sometimes even to God and being led to the vast majority of people who are genuinely delightful people and wanting to help. People are the very life blood of the challenge and it is your receptiveness to my pitch and enthusiastic support that keeps me going so thank you to you all.
What is exciting and gives me further cause to continue is that I am now on Day 90 with 966.5 miles covered under my own steam and 541 likes. I must be able to get to 1,000miles covered by Day 100!! Perhaps I could also get to 600 likes!!
Enjoy the Bank Holiday. I am travelling home tomorrow so next post on Tuesday.